Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates, the data about numerous jobs produced in the four sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020 in the US.
Overall, it is evident that manufacturing sector started at the top in 1960 and created more openings till 1980, then drastically declined. Furthermore, for retail and agriculture, there has been significant growth in the profession, but it is opposite for healthcare; they are at the lowest in creating positions.
To begin with, Manufacturing accounted for the highest figure of jobs at the beginning of the period with the 15 millions job openings and continued to rise till 1980 by 5 millions, after which it declined significantly with the total of approximately 13 millions.
In contrast, employment in the retail and agriculture job sector increased over the period amount of 6 and 3 millions respectively to the massive rise almost 3 times between 1980 to 2020 with the amount of 15 millions. While healthcare remained the sector with the lowest number of jobs created from 1980 since then it on the verge of diminish its initial tally was up to 6 millions then cut to 2020 the numbers fell to 2 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the rise and fall of the manufacturing sector and the growth in retail and agriculture. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing reached 15 million in 1960, but the graph shows it starting at 20 million. Additionally, the description of the healthcare sector is confusing and contradicts the visual data, as you claim it was at its lowest from 1980 and then mention a decline from 6 million to 2 million, which is not clearly supported by the graph's trajectory. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely and that comparisons are logically structured.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas within the paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'it is opposite for healthcare' and 'it on the verge of diminish'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow is occasionally mechanical, and the referencing of data points needs to be more precise to ensure the reader can follow the comparisons easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'drastically declined', 'accounted for', and 'initial tally'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'created more openings', 'amount of 6 and 3 millions', and 'on the verge of diminish'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your phrasing sounds natural in the context of describing statistical trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the 15 millions'), subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage ('to the massive rise', 'from 1980 since then'). Some sentences are structurally fragmented or confusing, such as 'it on the verge of diminish its initial tally was up to 6 millions then cut to 2020 the numbers fell to 2 millions'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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