Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates proportion of jobs in four areas of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, It is immediately clear that manufacturing had the highest proportion in terms of jobs in starting year and experienced a drop after a minor surge. In contrast, healthcare that was recorded lowest initially observed a spike during these years.

In 1960, Number of jobs Healthcare sector had was lowest only 2 million however this number kept on rising in following years and in 2020 it peaked at 16 million. Meanwhile, manufacturing was only one at top with 15 jobs in 1950 after a spike in 1980 kept dropping and in 2020 reached 12 million.

On the other hand, agriculture and rental both in 1960 were recorded 6 million afterwards the proportion for rental kept surging in 2020 while number of jobs for agriculture sector plummeted and was recorded 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you mention '15 jobs' for manufacturing in 1950, which is not supported by the graph provided (which starts in 1960). Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat simplistic. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are more precise, such as noting the intersection points or the relative scale of change between sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'Meanwhile, manufacturing was only one at top'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of transition signals would help the response move more smoothly between the different sectors and time periods.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'rising', 'dropping', and 'surging'. There are also some awkward collocations and phrasing, such as 'areas of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'in US', 'in following years') and subject-verb agreement. Some sentences are also poorly constructed, such as 'Number of jobs Healthcare sector had was lowest'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on article usage and sentence structure would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.