Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrates the information about the types of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Here is the report of the graph.

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 but on the other hand health is the one of the most less jobs in 1960 about 2 million.

Manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 , respectively slightly increased in 1980, In 2020 it decreased to 12 million. There is a major change in healthcare jobs there is 2 million jobs in 1960 nevertheless is rapidly increase to 15 million in 2020.

If we consider one of the most under represented or less jobs then Agriculture is here, there is 6 million jobs in 1960 and only 2 million jobs in 2020.

Retail always had a limelight it had 6 millions jobs but it showed improvement and gained 15 million jobs in the era of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and provides data points for 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the main trends. The description of the data is somewhat mechanical, listing figures without sufficient synthesis or comparison. For instance, the statement 'Manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960, respectively slightly increased in 1980' is confusing as the data for 1980 is not clearly presented or compared. To improve, you should focus on grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) rather than listing each sector in isolation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by awkward transitions. Phrases like 'Here is the report of the graph' are unnecessary and do not contribute to the flow. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as 'respectively' in the second paragraph, which does not fit the context. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the sectors. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on simple verbs like 'had', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are also some unnatural collocations, such as 'most less jobs' and 'always had a limelight'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more academic vocabulary related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated', 'witnessed a significant rise', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Additionally, ensure that you use adjectives and adverbs correctly to describe the degree of change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentences, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'health is the one of the most less jobs'), incorrect preposition usage, and punctuation errors (e.g., '1960 , respectively'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper structure, such as 'there is 2 million jobs in 1960 nevertheless is rapidly increase to 15 million'. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent when describing past data.

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