Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given illustrations displays the figures of employment in four sectors of the economy of the United States from the year 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is clear that the number of employment in the retail and healthcare sectors flourished throughtout the years and become popular in the year 2020 and the least employment sector was agriculture in those years.
In the year 1960, the manufacturing sector has been the highest rate of employment which is 20 million. However, it keeps on declining in the remaining years and shrunk to only 10 million. Whereas, the retail and healthcare sectors keep raising throughout the years and reached upto 16 million in the year 2020 which is highest rate of employment as compared to the other years.
Moreover, the number of employment in agriculture sector in the year 1960 was above 5 million however there numbers slightly decrease and remained equal throughout the period of 60 years and it remained the least popular jobs among individuals in United States.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector as 'declining' and 'shrunk' is accurate, but the data points are not always precise (e.g., 'above 5 million' for agriculture is vague). Additionally, the comparison between sectors could be more sophisticated. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant trends. To improve, ensure that all key data points are clearly stated and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just descriptive.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a clear overall structure. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Whereas', and 'Moreover' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by better grouping of related data. The referencing is mostly clear, though the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the trends described. However, there is a lack of variety and precision. Phrases like 'flourished throughout the years' and 'become popular' are somewhat informal or imprecise for an academic report. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'the given illustrations displays' (should be 'illustration displays') and 'their numbers' (confusing 'there' with 'their'). To reach a higher band, incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends and data reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('illustrations displays'), incorrect tense usage ('has been the highest rate' instead of 'was'), and preposition errors ('upto' should be 'up to'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. Increasing the accuracy of verb tenses and ensuring correct subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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