Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates , the data about the number jobs produced in the four sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020 in the US.
Overall, it is evident that the manufacturing sector started at the top in 1960 and created more openings till 1980, then drastically declined. Furthermore, for retail and agriculture, there has been significant growth in the profession, but it is opposite for healthcare; they are at the lowest in creating positions.
To begin with, Manufacturing accounted for the highest figure of jobs at the beginning of the period with 15 million job openings and continued to rise till 1980 by 5 million, after which it declined significantly with the total of approximately 13 million.
In contrast, employment in the retail and agriculture job sector increased over the period amount of 6 and 3 millions respectively to the massive rise almost 3 times between 1980 to 2020 with the amount of 15 million. While healthcare remained the sector with the lowest number of jobs created from 1980 since then it has been declining steadily its initial tally was 6 million then cut to 2020 the numbers fell to 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare remained the sector with the lowest number of jobs from 1980, yet the graph shows it starting at a higher point and declining, while other sectors show different trajectories. Additionally, the description of the retail and agriculture growth is somewhat confusingly phrased, making it difficult to follow the specific data points. To improve, ensure that your summary of the data is precise and that you double-check the figures against the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'To begin with' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'it is opposite for healthcare; they are at the lowest'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one without mechanical repetition.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'drastically declined', 'accounted for', and 'initial tally'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'created more openings' and 'amount of 6 and 3 millions respectively'. Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, which limits the precision of your report. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure that your use of numerical data is expressed with standard English phrasing rather than literal translations of the graph's labels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the data about the number jobs' (missing 'of'), 'it is opposite for healthcare', and 'from 1980 since then it has been declining'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas. These errors occur frequently enough to occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions, and proofread your work to catch minor slips in sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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