Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph explains the trend of job market in the US for the last 6 decades. Job market has expanded and this graph caters the four large sectors of the country's economy. Line graphs showing how the scope of these sectors including agriculture, healthcare, manufacturing and retail shapened the future of the people working in that particular sector. For instance there is high rise of manufacturing with the start of 1980. This is truly relevant to the industrial era that reaches its peak in those decades. Conversely, agriculture sector has been neglected and that's why majority of people are more influenced to get their degrees and jobs in other fields. Resultantly, the other sectors such as retail and healthcare has most of the professionals by the 2020. Overall the 2020 year trend setter was the highest number of opportunities in the retail and healthcare, followed by retail that shows decline in last 40 years and at the last is the agriculture that has been following a steady decline in the job market over the years,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precise data points to support the descriptions. For instance, mentioning 'high rise' or 'decline' without referencing specific figures or years makes the summary less effective. Furthermore, the interpretation of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate based on typical graph data, and the conclusion is confusingly phrased, particularly the contradictory statement about retail. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that your summary is supported by specific data from the graph and that your comparisons between sectors are clear and logically consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is written as a single block of text, which significantly hinders the logical flow and readability. IELTS Academic Task 1 requires clear paragraphing to separate the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices like 'Conversely' and 'Resultantly', the overall structure is disjointed. The progression of ideas is not always clear, and the final sentence is particularly difficult to follow due to poor sentence structure and lack of punctuation. To improve, you should organize your response into at least three distinct paragraphs: an introduction/overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors or time periods.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. Phrases like 'caters the four large sectors' and 'shapened the future' are unnatural and imprecise. There is also some repetition of basic terms. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'economy', 'sectors', and 'opportunities', the word choice is often awkward. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'experienced a significant increase', 'remained relatively stable', or 'witnessed a downward trend', rather than relying on general verbs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'graph caters the four large sectors' (incorrect verb usage), 'retail and healthcare has' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'at the last is the agriculture' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly the use of a comma instead of a period at the end of the final sentence. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing the construction of error-free complex sentences will also help you demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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