Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph provides data about how many people are doing jobs in 4 different work sectors of the US from 1960 to 2020 including manufacturing, health care, retail and agriculture sectors.
Overall, the most people are employed in the manufacturing jobs while least number of workers have been employed in the agriculture. During the given period, the health care and retail jobs became popular and showed massive surge in recruiting new workers.
The manufacturing businesses were the most popular in 1960 with 15 million jobs but declined to approximately 13 million jobs in 2020 with achieving the
highest peak of all times in 1980 stopping at 20 million jobs. In contrast, the agriculture industry showed a slow decline from a little above 5 million jobs in 1960 to approximately half the workers in 2020.
The health care jobs were the least populated in 1960 with only about 2 million jobs but rose massively to be the highest jobs in 2020 to a little above 15 million jobs. While, the retail industry also showed a significant rise from approximately 6 million workers in 1960 to be on same level as the health care jobs in 2020 stopping at about 16 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, and the significant growth in health care and retail. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the main trends. However, the analysis could be improved by ensuring the data points are more precise; for example, stating 'a little above 5 million' is acceptable, but ensuring the comparison between sectors is more explicit would strengthen the response. Overall, you have fulfilled the requirements of the task well by selecting and reporting the main features effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a specific set of trends, which helps the reader follow the information easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'While', and 'During the given period' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the use of 'While' at the start of the final sentence is grammatically awkward. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used more naturally would help elevate the score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'massive surge', 'recruiting', and 'declined'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'least populated' to describe job numbers, which is not the most natural collocation in this context. Additionally, 'achieving the highest peak of all times' is slightly wordy and could be phrased more concisely. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing when describing trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the most people are employed' (should be 'the majority of people' or 'most people') and 'to be on same level' (missing an article). There are also minor issues with preposition usage and article placement throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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