Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, although, number of jobs increased initially in manufacturing department, began to decreased after 1980. However, the figure remain considerably increased throughout the period for retail and healthcare departments followed by the agricultural sector where the number fell at start and then remain significantly constant.

The highest number of jobs was recorded for manufacturing department that are around 20 in 1980. In contrast, the lowest figure stood at 3 for agricultural sector in 1980. Furthermore, the number fell sharply in 2000 for manufacturing department to 12.

In addition, the figure remain rose for retail and healthcare department and same number of jobs recorded for for these two sectors in 2000 that are around 15. Moreover, the figure stood at 3 for agriculture department in 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the description of the data is somewhat superficial. You mention the manufacturing sector's peak and the retail/healthcare growth, but the analysis lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. The overview is present but could be more clearly articulated. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive summary of the data points and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to avoid a penalty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'Overall, although, number of jobs...'. Some sentences feel disconnected, and the flow between ideas is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus to improve the logical progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use 'number of jobs' and 'figure', which makes the writing feel monotonous. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'manufacturing department' instead of 'sector' or 'industry'. Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'remain significantly constant'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a broader range of synonyms and more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'remained stable'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and articles. For example, 'the figure remain considerably increased' should be 'the figure increased considerably', and 'at start' should be 'at the start'. There is also a lack of complex sentence structures, as most sentences are simple or contain errors that impede clarity. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practising the construction of complex sentences using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions will also help improve your range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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