Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the rise and decline in number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between the years 1960 and 2020. The four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
To begin with, manufacturing sector rose rapidly between 1960s and 1980s but then gradually declined from 20 millions jobs in to just 13 million jobs by 2020. Similarly, the agriculture sector also faced unemployment due to advancement in education and technology.
On the other hand, healthcare sector increased gradually from 2 million jobs in 1960s to roughly 16 millions jobs by 2020 because of increasing number of population. Whereas, the retail sector also increased gradually from 6 millions jobs in 1960s to nearly 15millions job by 2020.
To conclude, the healthcare and retail sector became the most growing in today's world. Though, healthcare sector provided most number of jobs. On the other hand manufacturing and agriculture industry faced a huge decline in jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector declined, but you do not provide specific data points for the start and end of the period to support this effectively. Additionally, the inclusion of external reasons like 'advancement in education' or 'increasing number of population' is not supported by the graph and constitutes irrelevant information. To improve, focus strictly on the data provided and ensure you include key figures to support your comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'Whereas' helps guide the reader through the information. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall progression could be smoother if you grouped the sectors by their trends (e.g., the two growing sectors vs. the two declining sectors) more explicitly in the structure. Referencing is generally clear, though some minor improvements in linking phrases would enhance the overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'gradually declined', and 'faced a huge decline'. However, there are several errors in word choice and pluralization, such as '20 millions jobs' (should be '20 million jobs') and 'most growing' (should be 'fastest-growing'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensure accurate usage of plural forms when dealing with numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical slips, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the healthcare sector') and preposition errors ('in 1960s' should be 'in the 1960s'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and spacing issues, such as '15millions job'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammar and proofreading for small errors would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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