Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US from the year of 1960 to 2020.
Starting with the manufacturing sector, the number of jobs was increased from 15 millions to 20 millions from year of 1960 to 1980 and till the year of 2020 it has significantly decreasing between 10-15 millions. For retail and healthcare sectors, the number of jobs gradually increased from [redacted phone] from 5 millions to 15 millions and 2 millions to 15 millions respectively. On the other hand, in the agriculture sector the number of jobs is stable from [redacted phone] and it has decreased drastically.
To conclude, the opportunities in retail and healthcare sector has been increased over the period from [redacted phone] and for manufacturing and agriculture sector, the job opportunities is getting down by down over the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector as 'stable' contradicts the claim that it 'decreased drastically' in the same sentence, indicating a lack of clarity in data interpretation. Furthermore, the overview is quite brief and lacks a clear synthesis of the overall trends. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed comparison of the data points and ensure your summary accurately reflects the visual information provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a standard structure for Task 1. However, the logical flow is hindered by contradictory statements, such as the description of the agriculture sector. Cohesive devices are used, but they are somewhat mechanical (e.g., 'Starting with', 'On the other hand', 'To conclude'). The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas within the body paragraph could be more fluid. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one without internal contradictions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and phrasing, such as 'getting down by down', which is not standard English. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained constant', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use precise terminology for data reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There are several grammatical errors throughout the text that affect readability. Examples include 'the number of jobs was increased' (passive voice error), 'from year of 1960' (article usage), and 'opportunities... has been increased' (subject-verb agreement). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and the attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and the appropriate use of passive voice when describing data trends. Proofreading for these common errors is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.