Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs, in millions, which contributed the economy of US from four different sectors namely, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in both Retail and Healthcare are highest by the end, while Agriculture department holds the last place. Also Manufacturing sector achieves the highest peak over the years.

The number of people working in Retail stores rose steadily from arounf 5 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and around 15 in 2000, and slightly above 15 million by the end of 2020.Similarly Healthcare sector also seen a significant growth with having numbers fromaround 3 million at the start to 5 million, around 10 million and 15 nillion by the end respectively.

By contrast Manufacturing departments is at peak with 15 million in 1960 and rhen rose significantly to 20 million in 1980, then later declined to arounf 15 million in 2000 and before reaching to below 15 million in 2020.Whereas the number of people working in Agriculture declined steadily from 5million in 1960 to around 3 million in 1980 and 2000, before reaching to just above 0 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the peak of the manufacturing sector and the decline of agriculture. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped; while you mention the highest and lowest sectors, a more comprehensive summary would contrast the growth trends (Retail/Healthcare) against the decline trends (Manufacturing/Agriculture) more explicitly. Additionally, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as stating 'around 15' without units or 'above 0 million', which could be more accurately described as 'a negligible amount' or 'a low of approximately 1 million'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, and you use some cohesive devices like 'Similarly', 'By contrast', and 'Whereas' to link your points. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical errors and repetitive phrasing. For instance, the transition between the description of the sectors could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally adequate, but the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring that the grouping of data (e.g., growth sectors vs. declining sectors) is more consistent to enhance the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contributed', 'significant growth', and 'declined steadily'. However, there are several spelling errors ('arounf', 'nillion', 'rhen') and minor collocation issues that detract from the professional tone. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise reporting verbs and avoid repetitive structures. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Focusing on accurate spelling and more varied descriptive adjectives would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Healthcare sector also seen' (missing auxiliary verb 'has') and 'contributed the economy of US' (missing preposition 'to' and article 'the'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing your control over articles and verb tenses, as well as proofreading for basic punctuation, will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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