Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph provides knowledge about the job numbers in four sectors of the economy in the America between 1960 and 2020. Overall, manufacturing jobs increased the maximum economy of the US.
As it is presented in graph, the manufacturing jobs in 1960 are 15 millions and it is increased steadily from 1960 to 1980. But, at that point the number of jobs drops from 20 million to 17 million in 2000. Furthermore, it geos steadily and remain same in 2020. Secondly, retail jobs are only 5 million in 1960 after that it is increased and reaches to 10 million economy in the US. Retail jobs are the only sector that reached to 15 million in 2020. Thirdly, the agriculture jobs also increased from 5 million to 15 million in 2020. Lastly, healthcare is the only sector that have rapid increase from 1960 to 2020 to 20 million and also give a large growth to economy of US.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing trends. However, the analysis is inaccurate regarding the data provided. For instance, you state manufacturing reached 15 million in 1960, but the graph shows it closer to 20 million. Furthermore, the description of trends is inconsistent; you mention manufacturing 'remains same' in 2020, but the graph shows a decline. The overview is also weak, as it fails to capture the main trends (e.g., the significant growth in healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing). To improve, ensure you carefully read the axes and data points before writing, and focus on highlighting the most significant changes rather than listing every sector individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused. Phrases like 'As it is presented in graph' and 'after that it is increased' feel repetitive and unnatural. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly when moving between sectors. While there is a basic logical flow, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive summary. To improve, try using a wider variety of transition signals such as 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Meanwhile' to better connect your sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'increased' and 'jobs' without variation. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'the maximum economy' and '10 million economy,' which do not make sense in this context. The phrase 'give a large growth to economy' is also non-standard. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a sharp rise.' Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the trends more accurately and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare is the only sector that have'), tense usage (e.g., 'it geos' instead of 'it goes'), and article usage (e.g., 'in the America'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. When complex structures are attempted, they often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing past data. Proofreading for simple errors like 'geos' and '15 millions' (should be '15 million') will also significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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