Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart represents the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US from the year 1960 to 2020. The guide box shows the symbols for each sector. A straight line with circle as marker points represents manufacturing sector, A dashed line with triangle is used to represent retail sector ,whereas Agriculture sector is shown with a dashed line and a square and Healthcare sector is showcased with dotted line and a diamond shape. These help to understand the graph much easily.

According to graph in 1960 manufacturing sector ranked first in the most number of jobs estimating around 15 million jobs and this kept on increasing till 1980 reaching to almost 20 million jobs, but a sudden drop is seen in the next years the job market dropped to 13 million jobs by 2020.

Whereas, healthcare sector started at 2 million jobs in 1960 but by 2020 had a potential increase up-to 15 million jobs. Another sector that showed increase in the number of jobs is retail sector that started from 5 million jobs and reached to 15 million jobs by 2020. On the other hand jobs in Agriculture sector also dropped to almost 2 million from 5 million.

In conclusion jobs in Manufacturing and Agricultural sector dropped while jobs in Healthcare and Retail sectors increased massively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the introductory paragraph is inefficient; it spends too much time describing the legend (e.g., 'A straight line with circle as marker points') rather than paraphrasing the prompt. This is unnecessary detail that does not contribute to the summary. While the main features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. For instance, noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing as the leading sector by the end of the period would have strengthened the analysis. The overview is present but could be more integrated into the body paragraphs to better highlight the contrasting trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for trends, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Whereas', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help the flow of information. However, the transition between the description of the graph's legend and the actual data analysis is abrupt. Some referencing is slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the declining sectors (Manufacturing and Agriculture) and the growing sectors (Healthcare and Retail) more effectively to enhance the logical progression of the comparison.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey the trends clearly. There are some repetitive phrases, such as 'number of jobs' and 'sector', which appear frequently. While the writer attempts to use descriptive verbs like 'showcased' and 'estimating', some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'potential increase' or 'guide box'. To reach a higher band, the writer should incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise collocations related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'in four sectors of economy' (missing 'the'), 'most number of jobs' (awkward phrasing), and 'reaching to almost' (unnecessary preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors, such as the inconsistent use of commas and spaces before punctuation marks. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The writer should focus on article usage and prepositional accuracy to improve the overall control of grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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