Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four parts of the financial system in the US between the years 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in the financial system increased over the years with a lot of variations.
The jobs in millions are plotted on the vertical line also called Y-axis and the years in which the change took place are plotted on the horizontal line or X-axis.
The manufacturing sector starting from 15 million jobs in 1960, jumped to 20 million in 1980 which dropped drastically to 17 million in the year 2000.
Then in 2020 a further fall in jobs was recorded which was about 4 million jobs from the previous year.
Furthermore, agriculture for instance showed a very poor record of jobs in terms of numbers they showed a huge fall between the years [redacted phone] from 6 to 4 million. Another point to consider is that this value remained constant over two years and then dropped again to 2 million in the year 2020.
The retail jobs and health care sectors showed a positive development in the job market over the years with their numbers gradually increasing and showing a final value of 16 million in 2020.Both categories showed same final results.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the main trends, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate, such as the claim that retail and healthcare reached the same final value of 16 million in 2020, which is not clearly supported by the graph. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's 2020 data is confusingly phrased. To improve, ensure you provide a more precise overview of the key trends and avoid describing the axes (e.g., 'vertical line also called Y-axis'), as this is unnecessary for an IELTS Task 1 response. Focus instead on comparing the sectors more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Transitions like 'Furthermore' and 'Another point to consider' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. For instance, the paragraph regarding agriculture is slightly repetitive, and the final paragraph lacks a clear link to the previous sections. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that contributes to the overall summary.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'drastically', 'positive development', and 'remained constant'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'parts of the financial system' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'poor record of jobs', which sounds unnatural in this context. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of jobs... with a lot of variations' (should be 'fluctuations') and 'Both categories showed same final results' (missing an article). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are some awkward phrasings that hinder the flow. To improve, work on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Aim to incorporate more varied complex structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to demonstrate greater control over your grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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