Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The adjacent graph shows four sectors or domains of job in the US economy and their share in the job market from 1960 to 2020. We can see that earlier in the time manufacturing dominated the job market. This can be attributed to the industrial revolution that had swept across the western world in the 19th century.The manufacturing sector peaked towards the 1980s with the rise of many modern companies particularly in tech like Intel, Apple,etc. This is primarily due to the silicon valley revolution that will later shape our world.
Coming to the retail section we can see a steady growth till the 2000s after which growth tends to plateau a bit. but nevertheless it still grows but a lower rate. This is fundamentally due to the fast fashion , fast food and "fast" based retail shops popping out
Healthcare has been steadily increasing since the 1960s. The major effect of this trend is very visible in the fact that average lifespan has increased by about 10 years since the baby boomers era. More fund allocation and more attention to healthcare research and development especially from many top tier US universities is an inevitable part of this growth. Also a focus more on STEM based programs has cultivated an increasing interest in young Americans to pursue courses in healthcare
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report. Instead of objectively describing the data provided in the graph, you have provided external explanations and personal theories (e.g., 'industrial revolution', 'silicon valley', 'fast fashion'). Task 1 requires you to report on the trends, peaks, and comparisons visible in the data itself, not to explain the socio-economic causes behind them. Furthermore, you have not provided an overview of the main trends, which is essential for a high band score. The focus remains on subjective commentary rather than data analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is weak because the content is not focused on the data. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Coming to the retail section' and 'Also', but they are sometimes used in a way that feels informal or disjointed. The lack of a clear summary or overview at the beginning or end of the report significantly impacts the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as 'dominated', 'plateau', 'fund allocation', and 'cultivated'. However, the tone is often too informal for an academic report (e.g., 'popping out', 'etc.'). There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'domains of job' instead of 'employment sectors'. To improve, focus on using more precise, academic terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'earlier in the time' (should be 'earlier in the period') and 'growth tends to plateau a bit. but nevertheless it still grows but a lower rate' (punctuation and preposition errors). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic sentence construction and punctuation prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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