Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the four different kind of jobs in the sector of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020 ,namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare, which is measure in millions.
Overall, the highest number of job experienced in manufacturing sector, whereas healthcare accounted the least number of jobs , while it can be showed significant growth.
In 1960, 15 million jobs accounted in manufacturing , which was in greater demand. In contrast, agriculture sector had approximately 5 million jobs. Manufacturing sector considerably rose to 20 million jobs in 1980 before fall down to about 13 million by 2020. Agriculture demonstrated similar trend declined from about 2 million jobs in 1980 and remain stable to 2020.
Approximately 5 million jobs in retail by 1960 .However, the figure of healthcare stood at about 2 million and it was increased significantly and reached at peak by roughly 16 million jobs interestingly, retail accounted for similar growth and reach at 16 million jobs by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that healthcare accounted for the 'least number of jobs' throughout the period is incorrect, as it started low but grew significantly. The data reporting is generally accurate, but the description of the trends lacks precision in some areas, such as the vague mention of agriculture's 'similar trend' which is not fully supported by the data. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview captures the most significant overall trends rather than just listing extremes, and double-check the data points for accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast', 'However', and 'before', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'while it can be showed significant growth'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the final paragraph is a bit cluttered, making it harder to follow the comparison between retail and healthcare. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'significant growth', 'considerably rose', 'remain stable'). However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'four different kind of jobs', 'job experienced in', and 'accounted the least number'. These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited range of sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing graphs, such as 'the number of jobs peaked at' rather than 'reached at peak'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and prepositions, such as 'which is measure in millions', 'before fall down', and 'it was increased'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.