Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the employments numbers in four US economy sectors from 1960 to2020.
Overall, the jobs in Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors has been decreased while, the rate of employment in Retail and Healthcare sectors increases per year.
The rate of manufacturing sectors jobs were at 15 million in 1960 and it is at its peak on 20 million in 1980 and from 1980 to2020 it decreases gradually and reach to 13 million. However, Agriculture employment rate is 6 million in 1960 but it also slightly decreases to 2 million in next 60 years.
The number of jobs in Retail segments were at 6 million in 1980 but it had a sharp increase from 1960 to 2000 at15 million and at era 2020 it had a slight increase to 16million. Although, the Healthcare category had a steep increase in staff from 2 millions to 16 million in between 1960 and 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting. For example, you state that Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it peaking earlier, around 1970. Additionally, your description of the Retail sector contains a contradiction, as you mention it was at 6 million in 1980 but then describe a sharp increase from 1960. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your data points with the visual information provided to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Although', and 'while' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For instance, the transition between the Manufacturing and Agriculture descriptions could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the structure of the sentences sometimes makes the progression of information feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words would help create a more natural flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'sharp increase', 'steep increase', and 'decreases gradually'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'employments numbers' (should be 'employment numbers') and 'Retail segments' (should be 'Retail sector'). You also use 'at era 2020', which is not a standard collocation. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, you need to work on using more precise terminology and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate to reach a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('jobs... has been decreased', 'rate... were') and tense inconsistencies ('rate... is 6 million in 1960'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and spacing errors, such as '1960 to2020' and '16million'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall clarity of your writing. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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