Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in four departments of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
The number of jobs in manufacturing were 15 to 14 through out the period from 1980 to 2020. While, jobs in road department increased through out the period from 5 to 15.
Talking about agriculture sector, it showed various fluctuations during the time period, almost 6 million in initial year, however it decreased in the last year by 3 million. Furthermore, there are also many changes in the healthcare sector jobs , it started from near about 2 million in first year and it reached on peak in 2020 accounted for 15 million.
Having an overview, it is vivid that road department showed upward trend, whereas agriculture department showed downward trend.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends, the data reporting is imprecise and lacks sufficient detail. For example, you mention '15 to 14' for manufacturing without specifying units (millions) or clarifying the timeframe. Furthermore, the analysis of the agriculture sector is confusing, stating it was '6 million in initial year' but then 'decreased in the last year by 3 million,' which does not clearly describe the trend. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview, use accurate data points from the graph, and meet the minimum length requirement to allow for full development of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the lack of cohesive devices. While you use 'While' and 'Furthermore' to transition, the connections between sentences are often mechanical or abrupt. The overview provided at the end is a positive feature, but the internal structure of the body paragraphs is weak. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'it started from near about 2 million', where the pronoun 'it' does not clearly link back to the specific sector mentioned.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'number of jobs' and 'department' (when 'sector' would be more appropriate). There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'reached on peak' instead of 'reached a peak' and 'road department' instead of 'transportation sector'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant growth.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you describe the trends more accurately and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The number of jobs... were') and awkward phrasing ('through out the period from 1980 to 2020'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before some punctuation marks. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, while ensuring they are punctuated correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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