Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of positions in Manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare sectors in the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing jobs were highest in the US economy, then dramatically reached at peak and after showed downward trend. While, retail and healthcare rose significantly over the period. Agriculture jobs were the lowest.
In 1960, manufacturing began with 15 million positions in the US, after reaching a peak of 20 million in two decades and then decreased gradually throughout the period at below 15 million in 2020. Moreover, agriculture showed similar trend above 5 million in 1960, then declined to around 3 million in twenty years. The number continued to dropped to nearly 2 million in 2020.
In contrast, retail stared with over 5 million jobs in economy, after climbing drastically to 15 million in 2000. Then cross manufacturing and reached just above 15 million. Furthermore, healthcare began with approximately 2.5 million and sharply rose to 5 million in 1980 and then significantly surged to over 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the peak in manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped. While it mentions the general trends, it lacks a clear comparison between the sectors at the start and end points, which is essential for a high-band response. The data reporting is generally accurate, but some figures are described vaguely (e.g., 'at below 15 million'). To improve, ensure that key data points are explicitly stated to support the summary, and provide a more comprehensive overview that highlights the most significant shifts across the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing trend and the agriculture trend in the third paragraph is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing for a clear description of the trends. You use some good descriptive verbs like 'surged', 'climbing', and 'declined'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'reached at peak' (should be 'reached a peak') and 'stared with' (should be 'started with'). Additionally, the repetition of 'positions' and 'jobs' limits the range. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that collocations are natural and error-free.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'The number continued to dropped' (should be 'drop'), 'retail stared' (should be 'started'), and 'Then cross manufacturing' (should be 'crossed'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the information. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage, as the report requires a consistent past tense for historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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