Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the four different kinds of jobs in the economy sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, which are measured in millions.
Overall, the highest number of jobs was in the manufacturing sector, whereas healthcare accounted the least number of jobs, while it can be shown to have significant growth.
In 1960, 15 million jobs were accounted for the manufacturing , which was in greater demand. In contrast, the agriculture sector had approximately 5 million jobs. Manufacturing sector considerably rose to 20 million jobs in 1980 before falling down to about 13 million by 2020. Agriculture demonstrated a similar trend declining from about 2 million jobs in 1980 and remained stable until 2020.
Approximately 5 million jobs in retail by 1960. However, the figure of healthcare stood at about 2 million and it increased significantly and reached a peak by roughly 16 million jobs interestingly, retail accounted for similar growth and reached at 16 million jobs by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting. For instance, you state that agriculture 'remained stable until 2020' after 1980, but the graph shows a decline. Additionally, your description of the retail sector starting at 5 million in 1960 is slightly imprecise compared to the visual data. To improve, ensure that your data points are more accurately transcribed and that your comparisons between sectors are more explicit to better highlight the 'main features' as requested in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast' and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions between sentences. For example, the final paragraph feels a bit disjointed when jumping between retail and healthcare. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that guides the reader through the data progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing sector', 'accounted for', and 'significant growth'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'accounted the least number of jobs' (should be 'accounted for the lowest number') and 'reached at 16 million' (should be 'reached 16 million'). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning common collocations related to data description and ensure you are using prepositions correctly with verbs of change.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, '15 million jobs were accounted for the manufacturing' is passive voice used incorrectly, and 'the figure of healthcare stood at about 2 million and it increased' lacks a necessary preposition or clearer structure. There are also issues with missing articles and tense consistency. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive constructions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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