Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the stats of number of jobs vaccancies in 4 different sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Ratal and Health care had a conistent growth throught the time whole span while the manufacturing sector besides with the most high graph with total of 20 million jobs in 1990.

Manufacturing was the most damded sector amonst given 4 accomdating almost 20 million jobs but the position did not really sta stable and number of vacanies dropped steadily to almost 12.5 million in between 1990 to 2020. But the manufacturing and Healthcare sector shared a similaer growth pattern both with the almost 16 million jobs the second highest after manufacturing .Whearase the agricilture sector startes with a slight fall 1960 from 5 million to nearly 3 million and then stayed steadily till 2020.

this shows that there is a great potentioal in healthcare sector and the ratal sector whereas there could b a potentioal growth in manufacturing again.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, you state that manufacturing and healthcare shared a similar growth pattern, which is not supported by the visual data. Furthermore, the description of the 'Ratal' (Retail) sector is unclear, and the overall summary lacks precision. While you have attempted to highlight key trends, the lack of clarity and the misinterpretation of the data points prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the figures and trends before writing, and focus on providing a clear, accurate overview of the data provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by confusing phrasing and unclear referencing. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'but', and 'whereas', their usage is often mechanical or inaccurate, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. For instance, the transition between the manufacturing sector's decline and the comparison with healthcare is disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks coherence due to the repetitive and sometimes contradictory nature of the sentences. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence follows logically from the previous one will enhance the overall structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary range is limited and contains numerous spelling errors that occasionally impede communication, such as 'Ratal' (Retail), 'conistent', 'damded', 'similaer', and 'Whearase'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with precise terminology for describing trends. While you attempt to use some topic-specific words like 'sector' and 'vacancies', the frequent spelling mistakes and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'stats of number of jobs vaccancies') suggest a lack of control. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic terms and practice using more precise verbs and adverbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined steadily', or 'remained stable'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and awkward sentence construction, such as 'the manufacturing sector besides with the most high graph'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and the use of capital letters. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure limits the clarity of your writing. Focusing on sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for basic errors will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.