Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
There are four jobs which were highly demanded in the era between 1960 and 2020
Into 1960, there was a significant boom in the revolution of manufacturing industry business. The rise of automobile industries, steel mills, petroluem sector industries gave a massive spike into manufacturing job market. As see into graph, In 1980 the jobs jumped from 15-20 and after 2 decade their rise has began falling till 2020.
In 1960, the era of Retail business has introduced and the demand for the everyday household and petty to important everyday items were rise in demand. And As we can see into graph the retail segment continously to rise till 2020. There have been biggest stores opened across the globe.
The demand of agricultural segment has significantly fallen due to limited resources. Due to various reasons such as irrigation issues due to shortage of water, climate change impact and fertilization problems. The margins and the labours are low compared to the rest of the business.
The healthcare sector is slowly but steadly growing since the 1960, as we can see the rise in several disease due to unhealtly habits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the data but fails to provide a clear overview or identify the most significant trends. The description of the data is often inaccurate or speculative; for instance, you mention 'automobile industries' and 'steel mills' which are not explicitly labelled in the graph. Furthermore, the response relies on external knowledge rather than focusing strictly on the provided visual information. To improve, you must provide a clear summary of the overall trends (e.g., which sector grew the most) and ensure that all data points mentioned are directly supported by the graph, avoiding personal opinions or external explanations for the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Into 1960' and 'As see into graph'. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'furthermore') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the main features of the graph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'petrolem sector industries' and 'petty to important everyday items'. Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'steadly' and 'unhealtly'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent a higher score. You should focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the rise of... gave a massive spike into manufacturing job market' (missing articles) and 'their rise has began falling' (incorrect verb tense). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that verb tenses are used consistently when describing historical data. Proofreading for basic errors like 'has began' (should be 'has begun') will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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