Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates about number of an employment in four distinct sectors of economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs for retail and healthcare have increased. Whereas, decline is seen in an agriculture and manufacturing sectors.

To began with, The retail in 1960 has around 5 million jobs and rose significantly reaching 15 million in year 2000 and further seen marginal growth till 2020 . Whereas, In the healthcare sector growth is seen through, from roughly 2 million in 1960 to reaching about 16 million same as retail.

Secondly, for manufacturing sector first two decay seen growth from 15 million in 1960 to reaching its peak in year 1980, about 20 million jobs then declining and hitting bottom in year 2020, about 13 million jobs. While, the agriculture sector peaked in year 1960 accounted for 6 million jobs then declining through and hit lowest in year 2020 roughly about 2 million .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat brief, and some data points are imprecise. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector as having 'first two decay' is unclear and confusing. While the main features are highlighted, the report lacks a more sophisticated synthesis of the data, such as comparing the cross-over points or the relative scale of the sectors at the end of the period. The response meets the requirements but lacks the depth of analysis expected for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Whereas', 'To began with', and 'Secondly' are used to signal the structure. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'To began with' (grammatically incorrect) and 'While, the agriculture sector'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and minor errors in referencing, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends like 'rose significantly', 'marginal growth', and 'declining'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'illustrates about number of an employment' and 'first two decay'. The term 'decay' is misused here to mean 'decades'. While the range is sufficient to convey the main points, the frequent errors in word choice and the lack of more sophisticated, academic vocabulary limit the score to a 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'illustrates about number of an employment' (unnecessary preposition and article usage), 'To began with' (incorrect verb form), and 'first two decay seen growth' (missing subject and incorrect noun usage). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and capitalisation errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency is high, which prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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