Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of occupations in four different sectors of the economy in US from year 1960 to 2020. The data has been callibrated in million.

Moving to the details, it can be seen clearly that, in initial year the number of jobs in healthcare was around 2 million and incline gradually through out the year and and stop at almost 16 million in year 2020. Additionally, the number of jobs in agriculture in 1960 was approximately 6 million. However, in 1980 it was declined at almost 4 milliion but in later years it was remained stable with negligible difference almost 4 million.

Shifiting towards to the remaining information, the number of jobs in retails rose through out the years from 1960 to 2020 but in year 2000 and 2020 it was almost same that was around 15 and 16 million respectively. In addition to this, the number of occupations in manufacturing was 15 million in initial year but it was increased by 5 million in 1980. Whilst, in 2000 to 2020 it followed a downward trend and stops at near by 13 million in 2020.

Overall it is crystal clear that, the number of jobs in healthcare was maximum in year 2020. Whilst, in year 1960 there was minimum jobs in healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing increased by 5 million in 1980, but the graph shows it peaking around 20 million from 15 million, which is a 5 million increase, yet your description of the subsequent trend is slightly inaccurate. Furthermore, the overview is weak; it focuses only on the minimum and maximum points rather than summarizing the overall trends (e.g., the growth of healthcare versus the decline of manufacturing). To reach a higher band, ensure you provide a clear, analytical overview that highlights the most significant changes across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Additionally', 'However', and 'In addition to this' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition 'Shifiting towards to the remaining information' is a bit clunky. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'incline gradually', 'remained stable', and 'downward trend'. However, there are several spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'callibrated', 'milliion', 'Shifiting', and 'near by'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you proofread for spelling mistakes. Using words like 'fluctuated' or 'plateaued' would also demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary appropriate for describing graph data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('in US', 'in initial year') and verb tenses ('it was declined', 'it was remained'). Some sentences are also slightly awkward, such as 'the data has been callibrated in million'. To achieve a higher band, you need to improve your control over subject-verb agreement and article usage. Try to focus on producing error-free sentences by simplifying complex structures until you are more confident in their grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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