Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The given line graph gives information about number of jobs in different sectors of economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

1960 number of job in United State for maunfacturing

15 percent and in 1980 manufacturing job 20 percent and in 2000 it reach 17 percent and last 2020 it reach 13 percent.

In 1960 number of job for Retail 5 percent and 1980 Retail job increase 5 percent to 10 percent and in 2000 it increase 10 percent to 15 percent and the last year 2020 it increase 15 percent to 16 percent.

In 1960 Agriculture job start 6 percent and 1980 it decrease 6 percent to 3 percent and in the year of 2000 it also reach 3 percent and in the year of 2020 number of job decrease 3 percent to 2 percent.

In 1960 number of Healthcare job 3 percent and after 20 year in 1980 Healthcare job increase 3 percent to 5 percent and after 20 year in 2000 Healthcare job increase 5 percent to 11 percent and after 20 year in 2020 healthcare job increase 11 percent to 16 percent,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide an overview of the main trends, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. Instead, it presents a mechanical, year-by-year listing of data points for each sector. While the data is largely accurate, the lack of synthesis or comparison between sectors means the response does not 'summarise' the information as requested. The writing is essentially a list of figures rather than an analytical report. To improve, you must identify the 'big picture'—such as which sectors grew, which declined, and which ended as the most dominant—and group the data accordingly rather than listing every single year.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is organized into separate paragraphs for each sector, which is a positive start. However, the internal structure of these paragraphs is repetitive and lacks cohesive devices. The frequent use of 'and in 1980', 'and in 2000', and 'and in 2020' creates a very mechanical flow. There is no attempt to use linking words to show contrast or progression (e.g., 'in contrast', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently'). The lack of a clear introduction that paraphrases the prompt and the absence of a concluding summary further hinder the logical flow of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is extremely limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic phrases like 'number of job' and 'increase'. There is no attempt to use a variety of verbs or nouns to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', 'experienced a decline'). Furthermore, there are consistent errors in word form and pluralization, such as 'number of job' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'maunfacturing' (spelling error). To reach a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary to describe data trends and ensure correct word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of simple, repetitive sentence structures. There is a lack of complex sentences or varied sentence beginnings. Significant errors in basic grammar are frequent, such as missing articles ('in 1960 number of job'), incorrect preposition usage, and inconsistent tense usage. The punctuation is also problematic, particularly the use of commas and the lack of full stops between distinct ideas. The sentence structure is often fragmented, which makes the text difficult to read fluently.

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