Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the four different kinds of jobs in the economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020, namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, which are measured in millions.
Overall, the highest number of jobs was in the manufacturing sector, whereas healthcare accounted for least number of jobs, while it can be shown to have significant growth.
In 1960, 15 million jobs were accounted for in manufacturing, which was in greater demand. In contrast, the agriculture sector had approximately 5 million jobs. Manufacturing sector considerably rose to 20 million jobs in 1980 before falling down to about 13 million by 2020. Agriculture demonstrated a similar trend declining from about 2 million jobs in 1980 and remained stable until 2020.
Approximately 5 million jobs were in retail by 1960. However, the figure for healthcare stood at about 2 million and it increased significantly and reached a peak of roughly 16 million jobs interestingly, retail accounted for similar growth and reached 16 million jobs by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the rise of healthcare and the decline of manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; while healthcare grew significantly, it did not account for the 'least number of jobs' throughout the entire period, as agriculture was lower for much of the time. Additionally, some data points are imprecise or confusing, such as the claim that agriculture declined from 2 million in 1980, which contradicts the visual data showing a higher starting point. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview captures the most significant trends accurately and that data points are cited with greater precision.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from general trends to specific sector details. However, the use of cohesive devices is occasionally mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'interestingly, retail accounted for similar growth'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly rather than listing them in a somewhat repetitive manner.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing for the description of trends using terms like 'rose', 'falling down', 'declining', and 'remained stable'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, but some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'accounted for least number of jobs' (missing an article) and 'falling down' (which is informal). To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensuring articles are used correctly with superlatives. The range is sufficient to convey the main features of the graph without significant difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'accounted for least number of jobs' and 'the figure for healthcare stood at about 2 million and it increased significantly' (which is a run-on sentence). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The use of passive voice is generally handled well, but more variety in complex sentence structures would demonstrate better control. Punctuation is generally functional, though some sentences would benefit from better clause separation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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