Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph provides information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US among 1960 to 2020.
The manufacturing jobs went up from 15 millions in the first twenty years then decreased gradually from 20 millions.The retail and healthcare jobs were almost showed the same trend between those years.The agricultural jobs decreased eventually in twenty years and then slowely declined.
The manufacturing jobs from 1960 to 1980 rose up gradually and after this it declined slowly from 1980 to 2020.The retails jobs went on increasing steadily from 1960 to 2000 and after 2000 rosing up slowed down and a slight increased is shown.The agricultural jobs declined from almost 6 millions job in the first twenty years and became stable till 2000 and then slightly downward.The healthcare jobs rose up from almost 2 millions jobs in ghe first twenty years and after that there was a rapid increase in the jobs to almost 21 millions jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview of the trends. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you state manufacturing jobs went up from 15 million in the first twenty years, but the graph shows a different starting point. Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat repetitive, as you describe the same sectors in two separate paragraphs, which leads to confusion. To improve, ensure you select the most significant features and present them clearly without repeating information. The overview is missing, which is a key requirement for Task 1 to achieve a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the repetition of information between the first and second paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'and after this' or 'and after that'. The progression of ideas is not clear because the same sectors are discussed twice with slightly different details, making the structure feel disjointed. To improve, plan your response so that each sector is described once, focusing on comparing the trends rather than listing them chronologically in a repetitive manner.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'went up', 'rose up', and 'declined'. While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate the range required for higher bands. There are also some errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'rosing up' instead of 'rising' and 'ghe' instead of 'the'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure you proofread for basic spelling errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'The retail and healthcare jobs were almost showed the same trend', which is grammatically incorrect. You also have issues with prepositions and articles, such as 'among 1960 to 2020' (should be 'between') and '6 millions job' (should be '6 million jobs'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors is high. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of time-related prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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