Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in the US by four sectors from 1960 to 2020. The data are presented in millions of jobs.

According to the data, A dramatic increase was seen in the number of jobs in Manufacturing from 1960 to 1980. Subsequently, the proportion of jobs in Manufacturing fell considerably from 1980 to 2020.

There has been a dramatic increase observed in the number of jobs in healthcare. In 2020, the number of workers in healthcare and retail stood at 16 million.

As can be seen from the graph, in 1960 the number of workers stood at 6 million. After that, the demand for jobs in retail increased considerably, while the number of jobs in agriculture decreased substantially. Eventually, in 2020, retail and Healthcare in demand.

Overall, the figures for retail and healthcare experienced a steady rise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify some trends, the analysis is incomplete. You mention four sectors but fail to provide a comprehensive overview or sufficient data points for all of them. The description of the trends is somewhat repetitive and lacks the necessary detail to fully report the main features of the graph. To improve, ensure you cover all categories provided in the prompt and provide a clear, data-driven summary that compares the sectors throughout the entire period, rather than focusing only on isolated segments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, the phrase 'Eventually, in 2020, retail and Healthcare in demand' is grammatically incomplete and lacks a clear connection to the preceding sentences. The structure feels disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of the trends. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'meanwhile', 'subsequently') would help create a more fluid and coherent argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'increase' and 'number of jobs'. While you attempt some descriptive language such as 'dramatic increase' and 'fell considerably', the overall lexical control is basic. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'in demand' used as a predicate without a verb, which hinders clarity. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and varied reporting verbs to describe the data trends more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains several grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure, such as 'retail and Healthcare in demand', which lacks a main verb. Additionally, there is inconsistent use of articles and some awkward phrasing. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and work on the correct use of prepositions and articles. Proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence completeness is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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