Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the information regarding the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the United States between year 1960 and 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is clear that the jobs in manufacturing has always been high that decline in the 2020 However Healthcare department used to have a less jobs that grownup in the end of the period.
After analysing the whole graph, it is shown that in year 1960, firstly, the manufacturing sector have employment of 15 million individuals that reduce in 2020. Secondly, the Retail market was having a job of over 5 million people in 1960 that rise upto 16 million in 2020.
Turning toward the remaining sectors of the employment of the economy in US, the Agricultural sector used to have a jobs over 5 million that drop and remains only 3 million. Next, the healthcare department was least employed sector in 1960 that climb to over 15 million in the 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the overview is slightly underdeveloped. You successfully identify the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in the retail and healthcare sectors. However, the data reporting is somewhat imprecise; for example, stating that manufacturing 'have employment of 15 million' is a bit vague, and the description of the trends could be more analytical by comparing the sectors more effectively rather than just listing them. To improve, ensure you highlight the most significant changes and provide more precise data points to support your observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Looking from an overall perspective' and 'Turning toward the remaining sectors', which are helpful. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or forced, such as 'After analysing the whole graph, it is shown that...'. Additionally, the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical progression of ideas without relying on repetitive introductory phrases.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You use basic verbs like 'grownup', 'rise', and 'drop' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'the manufacturing sector have employment of 15 million individuals' and 'the healthcare department was least employed sector'. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a steady increase', and ensure you use the correct terminology for economic sectors and data reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing has always been high that decline', 'the manufacturing sector have employment'), incorrect article usage ('the jobs in manufacturing', 'the healthcare department was least employed sector'), and tense inconsistencies ('used to have a less jobs that grownup'). While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring consistent verb tenses when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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