Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below illustrate the data about four job sectors of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing was top trend followed by US citizens in 1960 to 1980, but had a gradual fall in 2000, followed by Retail and health care which became trending in 2020.
In 1960, Manufacturing was top on provided list in graph which had 15 millions employees and it reached on peak by 20 million over 20 year period. Retail and Healthcare on the other hand was significantly increasing from 1960 which had 2 million and 6 million employment opportunities and had dramatic rose by the year 2020 reached a peak by 15 million and shared same number, they played a significant role in US's economy at that time.
Agriculture on the other hand, had slight down fall in 1980 where it had employees about 4 millions additionally it remind stable over 40 year period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting the data. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly inaccurate based on the visual data provided, and the comparison between sectors could be more effectively highlighted. While the main trends are identified, the overview is a bit disjointed, and some data points are not clearly linked to the specific years. To improve, ensure that the overview provides a clearer summary of the most significant trends and that all data points mentioned are accurate and clearly referenced to the timeline.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'In 1960' is used, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between the sectors and the timeline could be smoother. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the information logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'top trend followed by US citizens' and 'dramatic rose'. The use of 'trending' is also slightly informal for an academic report. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precise collocations and the repetition of basic structures limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic vocabulary related to trends and data, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained constant', or 'experienced a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Retail and Healthcare... was significantly increasing'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'had dramatic rose'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to affect the overall quality. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and tense consistency would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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