Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides data regarding number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the United State of America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in manufacturing and agricultural areas declined throughout the years while retail and healthcare significantly increased and took the peak in the last year.

As it can clearly seen from the graph that the jobs in manufacturing sector was the highest 15 million in 1960, reached the peak with 20 million in 1960 before declining to nearly 13 million. Contrarily, the healthcare sector was the lowest in 1960, around 2 million and they skyrocketed over the years, before sharing the highest figure in 2020 just over 15 million same as retail sector.

Similarly, the retail sector gave employment to just over 5 million people and their numbers increased dramatically before reaching the highest point over 15 million.

The agricultural sector started from the same proportion with the retail sector and their numbers declined steadily and reached the lowest in 2020, around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You provided a clear overview and selected key data points to support your descriptions. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing reached a peak of 20 million in 1960, but the graph shows it starting at 15 million and peaking later. Additionally, stating that agriculture and retail started at the same proportion in 1960 is slightly inaccurate based on the visual data. To improve, ensure you double-check the specific figures against the axes to avoid misrepresenting the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'Contrarily', and 'Overall' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'they' when referring to sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group the trends. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to the intended noun.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'skyrocketed', 'declined steadily', and 'employment'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'took the peak' (should be 'reached a peak') and 'same as retail sector' (which is slightly awkward). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, incorporating more precise academic collocations would enhance the quality of your writing. The spelling is generally accurate throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'As it can clearly seen' (should be 'As can be clearly seen') and 'in the United State of America' (should be 'States'). Additionally, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'the jobs in manufacturing sector was' (should be 'the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector was'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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