Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph tracks and illustrates the number of employments in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in the US in 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020. In the y-axis, the jobs are in millions.

Overall, the manufacturing sector has the greatest jobs as it's higher from other sectors while the agricultural sector shows lowest jobs in the US.

As we look at 1960, the departments that focus on manufacturing has the highest number of jobs of 15 millions, and medical service sector has the lowest jobs in 1960 of around 2 million, while agriculture and retailing has the similar numbers in jobs that is 6 million. As we go further to 1980's, the production sectors has made a 5 million increase from the previous years and now it is 20 million. The retailing and health care has gradually increased to 10 million and 5 million respectively, on the other hand, farming sector has a sudden decrease and the employment is 3 million in 1980.

In sequence to this, the jobs in production sector has made a slight decrease in 2000, and is 16 million now. However, retailing and medicalcare illustrates an increase, in 2000 of 15 million and 11 millions in corresponding order, while the agriculture stays constant in 2000. In 2020, there is a light fall in the construction sector, from 16 million in 2000 to around 13 million in 2020 and similarly, a slow downfall in the agricultural sector of about 2 million. The merchandise and healthcare has rise upwards from 15 million to 16 million and 11 million to 16 million respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the specified years. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating manufacturing has the 'greatest jobs' throughout is misleading, as retail and healthcare overtake it by 2020. The description of trends is generally clear, but there are some inaccuracies in data reporting, such as claiming the agricultural sector remained 'constant' in 2000 when the graph shows a decline. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most significant shifts (e.g., the rise of service sectors versus the decline of agriculture and manufacturing) rather than just listing data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, moving chronologically through the data. Cohesive devices such as 'In sequence to this', 'on the other hand', and 'similarly' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved to avoid a 'list-like' feel. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing for a clear description of trends (e.g., 'gradually increased', 'slow downfall', 'rise upwards'). There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'number of employments' (employment is uncountable) and 'merchandise' (likely referring to retail). Additionally, the term 'departments' is used incorrectly to describe economic sectors. While the range is sufficient to convey the main features of the graph, more precise terminology related to economic trends would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing... has the highest number', 'retailing and health care has gradually increased') and incorrect pluralisation ('15 millions', '11 millions'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural nouns with numbers will significantly improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.