Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in different four sector of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020. Overall, retail and healthcare sector witnessed a significant growth over a period ,whereas agricultural graph has been dropped.
In 1960 manufacturing sector stood at the highest(15million ) job in the economy and its increase till1980 stood at 20 after that over a period its graph dropped steadily over a period .approximately 6million job were in the agricultural sector in 1960 ,in 1980 graph saw a decrease of 3 million jobs in the agricultural sector ,from 1980 to2000 graph goes constant and in 2020 graph show a minor decline at stood at approximately 2 million.
In comparison to healthcare ,whose contribution to the economy to providing job were 2 million ,the retail sector contribution was 6 million, over a time they both sector surge a growth and end up with the highest job provider sector in the economy in 2020 with 16 million jobs .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For example, stating the manufacturing sector reached '20' without specifying units (millions) is a clarity issue. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing trend is slightly confusing, and the comparison between retail and healthcare lacks precision. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are clearly labelled with units and that the comparison between categories is more explicit and logically structured.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a report. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'graph' to start sentences. The flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the manufacturing and agricultural sectors feels abrupt. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'simultaneously') would help the ideas progress more smoothly and improve the overall readability of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'agricultural graph has been dropped' and 'whose contribution to the economy to providing job were'. The word choice is often repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'graph' and 'sector'. To improve, you should aim to use more sophisticated synonyms for trends (e.g., 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', 'experienced a steady climb') and ensure that collocations are accurate, such as 'job opportunities' instead of 'job provider sector'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Issues include missing articles ('the' manufacturing sector), subject-verb agreement errors ('they both sector surge'), and punctuation mistakes (spacing around parentheses and numbers). The sentence structure is often repetitive, and the lack of proper capitalization for 'US' and 'agricultural' detracts from the professional tone. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors and varying sentence construction will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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