Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

From Centuries, we know economy plays a very important role in The entire world, As the Country who owns stronger economy is ultimately the one who leads the world.

USA , the one with the strongest economy right now in the world,ultimately has also suffered from my many shifts, if we discuss from the timeline from [redacted phone] ,we can summarise it as following:

In 1960's the Healthcare sector was having not much jobs ranging from 0- 4% ,the Agricultural & Retail jobs were in between 5%- 7%, and Manufacturing jobs were about of 15%, but with the passage of time the numbers changed as is 1980 the agriculture jobs were dropped in between 0-5%, Healthcare increased upto 5%, Retails upto 10%,Manufacturing upto 20%. In 2000 the agriculture remains still same while the Healthcare & Retail jobs were increased upto somewhere between 10-12%,Meanwhile Manufacturing jobs were declined upto 16-17%, But the latest 2020 records show that the Healthcare & Retail Jobs were increased upto 15%, but a siginificant decline is observed in Agriculture & Manufacturing job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to summarize the data, but it fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. The introduction is irrelevant, focusing on general economic theory rather than the graph itself. While the response mentions specific sectors and years, the data reporting is often imprecise (e.g., 'somewhere between 10-12%') and lacks a cohesive comparison of the overall shifts. The response would benefit from identifying the most significant changes, such as the long-term decline in agriculture versus the growth in service-related sectors, rather than simply listing figures chronologically.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure. The introduction is unnecessary and does not lead into the body of the report. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes incorrect way, such as the repetitive use of 'In [year]' to start sentences. The flow of information is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. To improve, you should use clear paragraphing—one for the overview and one or two for the detailed comparisons—and use a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'having not much jobs' and 'remains still same' are unnatural and imprecise. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'latest 2020 records show'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band score. You should focus on using more academic terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant downturn'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with article usage ('the Country', 'the Healthcare sector'), subject-verb agreement ('agriculture jobs were dropped'), and punctuation (missing spaces after commas and periods). The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. For example, 'As the Country who owns stronger economy is ultimately the one who leads the world' is a run-on sentence with awkward phrasing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for minor errors would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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