Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph illustrates the rise and decline in number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between the 1960s and the 2020. The four sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
To begin with, the manufacturing sector started strongly from the 1960s and provided 20 million jobs in the 1980s. However, it faced a major job decline by 2020, offering only 14 million jobs . Similarly, the agricultural sector provided 6 million jobs in the 1960s. However, its job market fell gradually by 2020.
On the other hand, the healthcare sector gradually grew, from providing 2 million jobs in the1960s to roughly 16 million jobs in 2020. Equivalently, the retail sector also rose from providing 6 million jobs in the 1960s to approximately 15 million jobs by 2020.
To conclude, the healthcare and retail sector has subsequently frown over the years maybe due to population growth. Whereas, there has been a gradual decline in agriculture and manufacturing sector probably because of advancement in technology and higher education.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends in the four sectors. You successfully identified the contrasting patterns between the declining sectors (manufacturing and agriculture) and the growing sectors (healthcare and retail). However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating manufacturing 'provided 20 million jobs in the 1980s' is accurate, but the description of the agricultural sector as falling 'gradually' lacks specific data points to support the trend. Additionally, the conclusion includes speculative reasoning ('maybe due to population growth') which is not supported by the graph and should be avoided in Task 1, as the task requires a factual summary of the provided information only.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the two distinct trends, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', 'Similarly', and 'On the other hand' are used effectively to guide the reader through the comparisons. The progression of ideas is generally smooth. However, the use of 'Equivalently' in the third paragraph is slightly unnatural in this context; 'Similarly' or 'Likewise' would have been more appropriate. Overall, the paragraphing is sufficient and the information is sequenced in a way that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'decline', 'gradually', and 'sectors'. There are some minor errors, such as the misspelling 'frown' instead of 'grown' in the conclusion. While you use some topic-specific vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited and relies on repetitive structures. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'experienced a downward trend') and ensure that word choices are precise and contextually accurate throughout the entire response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'in number of jobs' (missing the article 'the') and 'in the 2020' (incorrect usage of the definite article). Additionally, the phrase 'healthcare and retail sector has subsequently frown' contains a subject-verb agreement error ('have' should be used for plural subjects) and a spelling error. Despite these slips, the errors do not impede communication, and the meaning remains clear. To improve, focus on article usage and subject-verb agreement, and attempt to vary your sentence structure further to demonstrate greater control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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