Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the available employment in four sectors in the US economy between [redacted phone] respectively.
The vertical line represents the number of jobs in millions whereas the horizontal line shows the timeline.
What stands out in the graph is that the healthcare sector has dramatically risen the employment opportunities from 2-5 million in 1980 and from 5-15 million approximately in the year 2020. Meanwhile the agriculture was significantly in upward trend for 60 years which then declined to almost 1-0 million in the year 2020.
There is consistent uptrend observed in the retail sector which was from 6 million in 1960 to above and almost 15 million in 2020. Throughout the span of 20 years 1960- 1980 the manufacturing segment was constantly in upward trend which tend to decline for about 3 million only.
To conclude , the agriculture sector is considered to have fewer workforce as it started with around 5 million placements. There is substantial growth seen in the retail and healthcare.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a summary of the main features of the graph, but it lacks precision in reporting data. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector as having an 'upward trend for 60 years' is factually incorrect based on the provided graph, which shows a decline. Additionally, the phrasing '1-0 million' is unclear and confusing. While the main trends are identified, the lack of accuracy in interpreting the data points and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between sectors limit the effectiveness of the response. The overview is present but could be more clearly defined to highlight the significant shifts in employment across the four sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'Meanwhile the agriculture was significantly in upward trend'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the transition between the description of the healthcare sector and the agriculture sector. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the logical flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is clear and consistent throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. Phrases like 'dramatically risen the employment opportunities' are grammatically awkward and demonstrate limited control over collocation. There is some repetition of basic terms such as 'upward trend' and 'sector'. To improve, the student should focus on using more varied and precise terminology to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'the healthcare sector has dramatically risen the employment opportunities' is syntactically incorrect. There are also issues with article usage and preposition placement, such as 'in the year 2020' (repeatedly) and 'for about 3 million only'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. More attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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