Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph depicts the information regarding count of four distinct job areas in us between [redacted phone]
It is lucid, 15 million jobs were available in manufacturing sector in year 1960, which was went upto 20 million in 1980.However,before year 2020 it was drop down continuously and remained around 13 million till last given year.The retail sector had just over 5 million jobs in 1980 and it were showed a sharp increase and reached at its peak in 2020 , just over 15 million
Probing further,Agriculture areas had same number of jobs as retail sector, just over 5 millions in 1960 and went down to almost below 4 million in 1980. From year 2000 to 2020 it was remained same with a slight decrease of almost 1 millions.furthermore, Healthcare side had lowest number of jobs which was around 2 million in 1960. However,count of healthcare sector jobs had surge up and reached to same as retail sector in 2020
Overall, it is evident that manufacturing and agriculture sector had noticable ups and downs whereas other two two sectors experienced sharp increase in the given years
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is somewhat weak and lacks a clear synthesis of the data. While the report includes specific figures, some data points are inaccurate or poorly described, such as claiming the agriculture sector remained the same from 2000 to 2020 despite a 'slight decrease'. The description of the manufacturing sector's peak is also slightly imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the growth of service-related sectors versus the decline of manufacturing) rather than just listing facts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'It is lucid' is an unnatural way to introduce data, and 'Probing further' is not an appropriate transition for a data report. Additionally, there are issues with referencing, such as 'it were showed' and 'it was remained', which disrupt the flow. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the writing feel somewhat disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is a reliance on basic verbs like 'had', 'went', and 'reached'. Some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'count of four distinct job areas' instead of 'number of jobs in four sectors' and 'healthcare side' instead of 'healthcare sector'. There are also minor errors in word formation, such as 'noticable' (spelling) and 'millions' (plural usage when preceded by a number). Expanding the range of reporting verbs and using more precise terminology would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement and tense usage, such as 'which was went upto', 'it were showed', and 'it was remained'. The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic grammatical errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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