Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph compares the number of jobs in four different sectors of US economy between the years 1960 and 2020.
Manufacturing sector provided the most jobs until around 2005, where number of jobs given by retail sector were more than manufacturing sector. Eventually healthcare sector also started offered more jobs than manufacturing.
No of jobs given by manufacturing sector peaked in 1980 giving out 20 million jobs but from 1980 they gradually decreased the number till 2020.
Number of jobs given by healthcare sector was almost the least in comparison with other 3 sectors except the initial few years starting from 1980. Started at 6 million jobs then the number fell to approximately 2.5 million jobs at the year 1960 and it levelled off .
People earning their livelihood from health care sector rose steadily over the years. Starting at 2.5 million jobs in 1960 to little more than 15 million jobs in 2020.
Jobs provided by retail sector also gradually rose from 6 million in 1960 to 15 million jobs in 2000. After the year 2000 the number remained steady till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it lacks a clear summary of the overall trends (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors). The data reporting is generally accurate, but there are inconsistencies in the timeline descriptions, such as the confusing mention of the healthcare sector starting at 6 million and then falling to 2.5 million, which contradicts the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most significant changes and verify that all data points are accurately transcribed from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the logical progression between sentences is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between the manufacturing and healthcare sectors is abrupt. While cohesive devices are used, they are somewhat repetitive (e.g., 'Number of jobs given by...'). The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the healthcare sector's starting point. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a smoother flow between ideas would enhance the coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is significant repetition of phrases such as 'number of jobs given by' and 'sector'. While the student uses some relevant terms like 'peaked' and 'levelled off', the range is limited. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'jobs given by' instead of 'jobs provided by' or 'employment in'. To improve, the student should use a wider range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('Manufacturing sector', 'healthcare sector') and awkward phrasing ('where number of jobs given by retail sector were more than'). Subject-verb agreement is occasionally problematic, and some sentences are fragmented or lack clarity. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and refining sentence structure would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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