Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph ilustrate the information about the number of occuption
in four department of economy in us from 1960 to 2020
Overall, the manufacturing sector jobs are on rise on the other hand agriculture sector is on low .IN 1960 manufacturing department has produce 15 million jobs which go further to 20 million in 1980 . But in 2020 the number fell to 13 million .
ON the other hand health care sector and retail job take rise from 1960 to 2020 . however ,in 1960 retail is on five million then they take rise year by year in 2020 they both reached to 15 million .
HOWEVER, the agriculture jobs never take rise their jobs fell year
by year in 1960 thier jobs are same as of retail but agriculture jobs never increases they fell each year by year in 2020 thier jobs reached to 1 million which is less than all other sector
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains factual inaccuracies regarding the data provided in the graph. For instance, the claim that manufacturing jobs fell to 13 million by 2020 is inaccurate based on the visual data, and the description of the agriculture sector's decline is repetitive. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in reporting the data and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors limit the development of the response. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately and that the summary highlights the most significant shifts rather than listing trends in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by inconsistent formatting and mechanical use of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'on the other hand' and 'however' are used, but they are often placed awkwardly or capitalized incorrectly, which disrupts the reading process. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas feels disjointed. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'rise', and 'fell'. There are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'ilustrate' instead of 'illustrates', 'occuption' instead of 'occupations', and 'department' used incorrectly to refer to economic sectors. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate precision or flexibility. To improve, you should learn sector-specific terminology (e.g., 'industry', 'workforce', 'decline', 'fluctuate') and practice using synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing department has produce'), tense usage (e.g., 'jobs take rise'), and article usage. Punctuation is also problematic, with erratic capitalization and missing commas. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that tenses are used consistently when describing past and present trends.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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