Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of people working in four different sectors in the US economy are Manufacturing, healthcare, retail and agriculture.

Overall, Healthcare and retail witness a massive growth in jobs whereas vacancies in agriculture and manufacturing sector followed a decline trend.

In the year 1960, the highest number of people were working in manufacturing sector around 15 million people and it increased to 20 million in 1980. After that job declined gradually and reaches almost 13 million by 2020. Individuals working in Agriculture was 6 million in 1960 steadily falls to 3 million in 1980 after that it remain stable for almost 4 decades before declining a bit to 2 million in 2020.

Demand of manpower was just around 2 million in 1960 which increases gradually to around 5 million in 1980. After that demand of people increases significantly and finishes at 16 million by 2020. Healthcare jobs also followed a upward trend started at 6 million in 1960 increased gradually and reached 15 million by 2020 after that it remain stable and finishes at 16 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. You have successfully selected key features and made relevant comparisons. However, the report is slightly hampered by inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state that healthcare 'remained stable and finished at 16 million by 2020' after reaching 15 million, which is confusing given the previous sentence. Additionally, the identification of the sectors in the introduction is grammatically awkward. To improve, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that the overview clearly synthesises the overall patterns without contradictory statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'after that'. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing of the sectors could be smoother. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more explicitly stated through a wider range of cohesive devices, such as 'consequently', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently'.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main trends, using terms like 'massive growth', 'decline gradually', and 'upward trend'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'decline trend' should be 'downward trend', and 'demand of manpower' is slightly unnatural; 'demand for labour' would be more appropriate. There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'finishes at', which is not the most academic way to describe data points. Expanding your range of academic collocations will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'Healthcare and retail witness' should be 'witnessed' (past tense), and 'individuals working in Agriculture was' should be 'were'. There are also issues with articles and prepositions, such as 'in manufacturing sector' (should be 'in the manufacturing sector'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on consistent tense usage and article placement will improve your accuracy.

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