Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrate the number of jobs information in for section of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
It is clear that manufacturing sector had more jobs than other sector.And agriculture sector offered least jobs all over the year.
firstly if we talk about manufacturing side it was give 15 millions job in 1960. And it increased slidely to 20 million in 1990. But after that from 1990 to 2020 it decreased manually , last in 2020 it was around 13 million.Then coming to the retail part in 1960 the number of job was 6 million. But with the passage of time it always grow slowly and in 2020it was 15 million plus.
Here we go for agriculture sector which is only one that had decreased all over the year had no record of incresing. In 1960 it was 6 million but by the passing year as we say it decresed in 2020 it offered just onlu 2 to 3 million jobs. Last but not the list least helthcare field ,this is also similar a retail sector both were incresed every year . In 1960 to 2020 the number of job gone 2 million job to 16 million job .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant trends. Some data points are imprecise, such as describing the manufacturing trend as 'decreased manually' (likely a misuse of 'gradually') and stating the healthcare sector grew from 2 million to 16 million without specifying the timeframe clearly. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences between the sectors and use more precise data reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the structure is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, such as 'firstly', 'then coming to', and 'here we go for'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the final paragraph attempts to group healthcare and retail but does so in a way that lacks logical flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'slidely' (slightly), 'manually' (gradually), 'incresing' (increasing), and 'helthcare' (healthcare). The phrase 'last but not the list' is a malapropism. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the high frequency of spelling errors hinder the quality of the writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more varied vocabulary related to trends and data, and pay closer attention to spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph illustrate', 'manufacturing sector had more jobs than other sector'), missing articles ('in 1960 to 2020'), and incorrect verb forms ('both were incresed'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. While the meaning is usually clear, the high density of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Incorporating more complex sentence structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy is essential for improvement.
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