Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below tracks the number of employment in four different sectors of the economy in the US over the four years of the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, all categories climbed up over these years except the agriculture sector. The jobs in this field diminished in 2020. However, the manufacturing sector reached its peak and then it came down gradually.

The production area initiated at 15 million and surged in 1980 to 20 million. Afterwards, it dwindled and reached 14 million by 2020. Moreover, the retail sector surged throughout the period and in 2020, the opportunities of occupation were 16 million.

Contrarily, the agriculture category contracted in their number of jobs and in 2020, it came down to approximately 3 million.

Furthermore, the retail sector started at 6 million and soared in 2000 to 16 million and continued to increase afterwards. In addition, the healthcare area surged to 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the general trends for the four sectors. However, the report is somewhat disorganized and contains factual inconsistencies. For instance, the text mentions the retail sector twice with conflicting information, and the description of the 'production' sector (likely referring to manufacturing) is slightly confusing. While the overview is present, the data selection is not always precise, and the lack of clear comparison between sectors limits the score. To improve, ensure that each sector is described clearly once, and focus on highlighting the most significant differences or similarities between the categories rather than listing them in a repetitive manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetitive information. For example, the retail sector is discussed in both the third and fifth paragraphs, which disrupts the progression of ideas. While cohesive devices like 'Moreover,' 'Contrarily,' and 'Furthermore' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or to connect disjointed points. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when referring to 'the production area' versus 'the manufacturing sector.' Improving the logical grouping of data—perhaps by grouping sectors with similar trends—would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at using descriptive verbs like 'surged,' 'dwindled,' 'contracted,' and 'soared.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'opportunities of occupation' instead of 'job opportunities' or 'employment figures.' The repetition of the word 'sector' and 'area' is noticeable. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise collocations and avoid repeating the same descriptors. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'the number of employment' (should be 'the number of jobs' or 'employment levels') and 'contracted in their number of jobs' (which is slightly awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally correct, and the errors present do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and more natural phrasing. While you have attempted some complex structures, ensuring they are error-free will help you move toward a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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