Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provider line graph illustrates the information in terms of number regarding the economy jobs in four sectors from 1960 to 2020.
On analysing the data, it is clearly seen in the line graph that 2 millions jobs ware selected by individuals in healthcare sector in 1960, while, the upward trend ware followed by 1980 to 2020 and reached final value 15 millions. Whereas, same tred were noticed in retail sector from 5 million to 15 million.
Furthermore,in 1960, 15 million people working in manufacturing sector whilst,stedy increase ware noticed in 1980,whereas,it continously gose down and reached below 15 million. Moreover, agriculture jobs ware selected by above 5 million people then it’s rapidly diclined and reached at 2 million.
From overall, the line graph demonstrates that the majority of individuals prefer manufacturing jobs while minorities prefer healthcare jobs in the provided years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks sufficient detail. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, stating it reached 'below 15 million' after starting at 15 million, which does not accurately reflect the data trends. Furthermore, the overview provided at the end is inaccurate, as it claims the majority prefer manufacturing, whereas the graph shows retail and healthcare overtaking manufacturing by the end of the period. To improve, ensure you provide a more precise summary of the data and meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'From overall' to introduce the conclusion, which is not standard academic phrasing. The logical progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward transitions between sentences. For example, the shift from the healthcare sector to the retail sector is abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases more naturally, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that flows logically into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'selected' or 'noticed' to describe data trends. There are also several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'provider line graph' instead of 'provided line graph' and 'tred' (spelling error). The vocabulary used is generally sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band score. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'plateaued', and ensure you check your spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that impede readability. Specifically, there are consistent issues with verb tense and form, such as 'ware selected' instead of 'were selected', 'stedy increase ware noticed', and 'it continously gose down'. These errors are systematic and occur in almost every sentence. While you attempt to use complex sentence structures, the high frequency of basic grammatical mistakes prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and consistent past tense usage for describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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