Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart depicts the information about the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in us namely, manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is lucid that manufacturing had the highest number of job in us whereas, agricultural recorded the lowest figure throughout the year.

At a fleeting glance, it is clear that in 1996 manufacturing had the highest number of employment in us that was 15 millions then it increased significantly to 20 millions in 1980 before declined to around 16 million in 2000 and almost 14 million in 2020. Moreover, retail job in us was recorded nearly 6 million in 1960 and it continuously rose sharply to 10 million in 1980 and 15 millions in 2000. After this, it increased slowly to almost 27 millions in 2020.

Moving to the rest of data , agriculture and healthcare was noticed at above 5 and 2 millions respectively in 1960 . Furthermore, agriculture job declined dramatically to 3 million in 1980 which remained constant until 2000 then it was falling down to 2 millions in 2020. While, healthcare inclined gradually to 5 million in 1960 and it continuously rose steeply to 11 million in 2000 before reaching at 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key features, such as the dominance of manufacturing and the growth of the retail and healthcare sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you mention 1996 as a starting point, whereas the graph begins in 1960. Additionally, some figures are slightly imprecise compared to the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing individual data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'At a fleeting glance', 'Moreover', and 'Moving to the rest of data' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or unnatural, such as 'Moving to the rest of data'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using more varied linking phrases to connect the trends rather than just listing them sequentially.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significantly', 'continuously', 'rose sharply', and 'declined dramatically'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'number of employment' (should be 'number of employees' or 'employment levels') and 'reaching at' (should be 'reaching'). While you attempt to use some less common vocabulary, the repetition of 'number of' and 'million' suggests a limited range. Focusing on synonyms and more precise collocations related to economic trends would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture and healthcare was noticed') and incorrect preposition usage ('in 1996' instead of 'in 1960'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article errors throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent use of articles and prepositions when discussing time periods and data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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