Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph provides information about the number of jobs in four departments of the economy in the IS between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail department increased in years between 19060 to 2020. On the other hand, jobs offered in agriculture and manufacturing sectors decreased between 1960 and 2020.
In 1960, around 2.5 million jobs offered in healthcare department and the ratio of jobs provided by US economy surged to around 5 millions in 1980. However, US economy gave 6 million number of jobs in 1960 and this was declined to approximately 3.5 million in 1980. By contrast, manufacturing department showed 15 million jobs in 1960 but this figure increased about 20 million in 1980.
The number of jobs in healthcare and retail sector raised between 2000 and 2020 to about 15 million. But the employment available in manufacturing and agriculture sectors declined between 2000 and 2020.
As a result after passing 4 decades the trend of jobs rising in healthcare and retail department and at the same time number of jobs reduced in manufacturing and agriculture sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a general overview and identifies the main trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For instance, the text mentions '15 million jobs in 1960' for manufacturing, which does not align with typical graph data for this task, and the phrasing '19060' is a clear typographical error. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation and the confusion between sectors (e.g., mixing up retail and manufacturing trends) limit the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are clearly linked to the specific sectors mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'between 1960 and 2020'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the final sentence is grammatically fragmented, which hinders the logical flow. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that connects smoothly to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'jobs', 'increased', and 'declined'. The student uses 'departments' instead of 'sectors', which is less appropriate in an economic context. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'ratio of jobs' when referring to raw numbers. To improve, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same verbs throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the number of jobs... increased in years between 19060 to 2020' (incorrect preposition and typo) and 'this figure increased about 20 million' (missing preposition 'to'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are also problematic in several places. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic tense and preposition usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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