Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph track the information about the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the USA between 1960 and 2020.The given data accounted in millions.
At glance,manufacture sector was highly recorded in graph wherever,healthcare sector was minimal recorded in graph in the given time period.Manufacturing sector was highest noticeabled in 1960 with 15 millions then data was risen in 1990 with 20 millions and sudden declined data recorded and stabled at 13 millions in 2020.
Retail sectors are lower than manufacturing in 1960 with 6 millions.then that data was risen with the flow of time 10 million in 1990,15 million in 2000,and 16 million in 2020.
Agriculture sectors was same data with retail sectors in 1960 but one major differance noticed here,this sectors was gradually declined and stable at 3 million in 2020.
Healthcare data was lowest sectors in 1960 with only 3 millions but in 1990 this data was rose up with 5 millions and data was countinue grew up and stable at same range with Retail sectors in 2020.
In conclusion,Manufacuring sectors was higher sectors in USA for job in the year between 1960 and 2020 and Healthcare sectors are recorded as lowest data over given time period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is weak; it lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, instead jumping directly into specific data points. The reporting of data is generally accurate, but there are some inaccuracies in the interpretation of the graph, such as stating the manufacturing sector was 'highest noticeable' in 1960, when the graph shows it peaking later. While the key features are highlighted, the lack of a cohesive overview and some imprecise reporting of the data trends limit the score to a band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'then that data was risen', 'this sectors was'). The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly between sentences within paragraphs. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While the response is coherent overall, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive nature of the sentence starters prevent it from reaching a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'data', 'sectors', and 'recorded'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'highly recorded', 'lowest sectors', and 'countinue grew up'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the lack of precision and the recurring errors in word forms (e.g., 'Manufacuring', 'differance') indicate a limited range. To improve, the student should focus on using a wider variety of verbs to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', 'plummeted') and ensure correct spelling and word usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but these are frequently marred by grammatical errors. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph track', 'Agriculture sectors was'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing spaces after periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors is high, which impacts the overall fluency of the writing. The student needs to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement.
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