Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors(Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare) of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the maximum number of jobs in 1960 was in manufacturing sector, whereas the minimum number of jobs were in healthcare in the same year. In addition, Retail and Agriculture sectors increased the number of jobs over four decades, whilst in case of manufacturing and Healthcare there was fluctuation in number of jobs.

In detail, in 1960 15 million jobs were provided by manufacture department, followed by Retail and Agriculture which was about 6 million in the same year and approximately 3million jobs were created by Healthcare sector. From 1960 to 1980, manufacturing department increased 5 million jobs from 2 decades ago, while agriculture sector decreased their number of job by about 3 million . Retail and Healthcare departments increased their number of job by 5 million and it was 10 million and 5 million respectively overe the giver period.

Following this, in next 4 decades manufacturing sector significantly decreased number of jobs from 20 million to nearly 12 million in 2020, Unlike Manufacturing sector, Retail and Agriculture sectors dramatically increased number of jobs and reached 15 million in both the sectors in last year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the initial dominance of manufacturing and the subsequent growth in retail and agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you mention that manufacturing decreased to 12 million in 2020, but the graph shows it closer to 10 million. Additionally, the description of the trends between 1960 and 1980 is slightly confusing in its phrasing. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are extracted with greater precision and that comparisons between sectors are more clearly articulated throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Following this', and 'Unlike', which help the flow of information. However, the progression within the body paragraphs is occasionally mechanical. Some transitions feel slightly forced, and the referencing of time periods could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'in next 4 decades' lacks a definite article, and the connection between the two body paragraphs could be improved to better highlight the contrast between the sectors over the entire 60-year period.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'significantly', and 'dramatically'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'manufacture department' is not the standard way to refer to an economic sector; 'manufacturing sector' is more appropriate. Additionally, there are minor errors such as 'overe the giver period' (typo) and 'in last year' (should be 'in the final year'). Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would help improve the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in manufacturing sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('between 1960 to 2020' should be 'between 1960 and 2020'), and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'minimum number of jobs were'). While these errors rarely impede communication, they are persistent enough to prevent a higher band score. Focusing on proofreading for articles and basic sentence structure would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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