Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph illustrate information gives about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Number of jobs in four sector, of the economy in the US, the line graph indicate the value of jobs joins in million approximately 0 to 25 and the years start in 1960 to 2020, a 60 years jobs in US in 1960 first i describe the health care departments according to the line graph its indicate the approximately value start from 2% in 1960 increase up to 5% in 1980 and 11% in 2000 increase within 15% in 2020 and 2020 the only 0.5 % increase. Agriculture job in 1980 increase indicate the information often by view of value agriculture jobs in 1960 are approximately 5% and in 1980 it decrease in half of 2.5% and in 2000 its about 2.5% and in 2000 are same and in2020 are 0 . Retail

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the task requirements effectively. While it attempts to describe the data, the information provided is fragmented, confusing, and incomplete. The student fails to identify the main trends or make meaningful comparisons between the four sectors. The description of the data is inaccurate, and the response ends abruptly mid-sentence, leaving the analysis unfinished. There is no clear overview, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. The focus is on listing isolated figures rather than summarizing the information as requested. To improve, you must provide a clear overview of the main trends and group the data logically rather than listing every point.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical organization and progression. There is no paragraph structure, and the sentences are strung together in a way that makes the information difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'in 1960' and 'in 1980' without connecting the ideas. The lack of punctuation and the abrupt ending further disrupt the flow of the text. To improve, you should organize your report into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on specific trends. Use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. There is significant repetition of basic words like 'increase', 'value', and 'jobs'. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing graphs, such as 'the graph illustrate information' (should be 'illustrates') and 'value of jobs joins' (which is unclear). The misuse of terms like 'departments' for economic sectors indicates a lack of control over topic-specific vocabulary. To improve, focus on learning collocations for describing trends, such as 'witnessed a steady rise' or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use precise terminology for the data presented.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('The graph illustrate'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are simple and often fragmented, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is almost entirely absent, making it difficult to determine where one sentence ends and the next begins. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction: ensure every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice using periods to separate distinct ideas. Work on consistent verb tenses when describing historical data.

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