Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph indicates a significant data about the numbers of jobs in four vital sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Manufacturing is the first key feature, which plays a crucial role in providing jobs which are beneficial in the advancement of US economy. In 1960, there were around 15 million jobs in this sector. The number of jobs goes on increasing from 1960 to 1980, until it reached at 20 million jobs in 1980. Moreover, we can see a uniform decline in manufacturing careers from 1980 to 2020.
Retail is also a good franchise to deliver plenty of jobs in the market. Initially, there were 6 million jobs in this domain. After 20 years, we notice a gradual increase in number of jobs, which kept on rising until 16 million in 2020.
Agriculture plays a vital role in providing jobs to many capable individuals. The number of opportunities rises constantly from 2.5 million to 16 million in a span of 60 years.
On the other hand, there is a noticeable drastic change in the healthcare sector of the country. It has a negative impact on the economy by declining number of jobs in this domain, reducing from 6 million to 1.5 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors, but the analysis is marred by significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you describe the healthcare sector as declining from 6 million to 1.5 million, whereas the graph shows it increasing significantly. Furthermore, you describe agriculture as rising to 16 million, which is also incorrect based on the provided visual. While you attempt to report main features, the misinterpretation of the data prevents a clear overview. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written statements with the visual information provided to avoid reporting false trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific sector, which provides a logical structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In 1960', 'After 20 years'). The transition between paragraphs is functional but lacks sophisticated linking. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to show relationships between the data points rather than just listing them sequentially.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use some informal or inaccurate phrasing, such as calling retail a 'good franchise' and describing the data as 'significant data'. There is a reliance on simple verbs like 'go on increasing' and 'rises'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic collocations related to trends, such as 'experienced a steady decline' or 'witnessed a sharp upward trajectory', and avoid informal descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect the flow. Examples include 'indicates a significant data' (incorrect article/noun usage), 'reached at 20 million' (unnecessary preposition), and 'declining number of jobs' (missing article). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that articles are used appropriately with countable nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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