Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The multi line graphs depict the information of the various jobs categories such as Manufacturing, retail, Agriculture and Healthcare were took part of the US economy from 1960 to 2020. The data are given as in millions.

Overall, it can seen that the highest number of jobs in manufacturing sector. while the lowest share of jobs in agriculture category.

To begin with, in 1960 the manufacturing sector was hold the jobs in the US economy approximately 15 millions. There was sharply increased around 20 millions after two decades. Which was the maximum number of jobs recorded under the manufacturing sector in the US economy. After that, the jobs under the manufacturing category decreased rapidly in the 2020. Moreover, only 3 millions of jobs accounted for the healthcare sector in 1960. The figure was slightly rose during the the year 1980. Then after, it was gradually went up above 15 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the main features of the graph, such as the trends in manufacturing and healthcare. However, the report is incomplete as it fails to mention the retail and agriculture sectors, which are clearly shown in the graph. The overview is also slightly inaccurate, as it states the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs throughout the entire period, whereas the graph shows other sectors overtaking it by 2020. To improve, ensure all categories are mentioned and the overview accurately reflects the overall trends across the entire timeframe provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Then after, it was gradually went up'. Some sentences lack logical flow, and the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While there is a basic attempt at paragraphing, the progression of ideas is not always clear, and the referencing of data points could be more fluid to improve the overall readability of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'jobs categories' instead of 'job categories' and 'the figure was slightly rose' instead of 'the figure rose slightly'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic information, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more varied verbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable', and ensure correct word forms are used in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the manufacturing sector was hold the jobs', 'the data are given as in millions', and 'it was gradually went up'. There is a lack of control over verb tenses and passive voice constructions. While the writer attempts to use complex sentence structures, these are often faulty, leading to errors in subject-verb agreement and word order. Increasing the accuracy of basic sentence structures and proofreading for tense consistency would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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